On this last day of 2012, as many probably are, I’m reflecting upon my life over the past year as I prepare for the the new year.
With the upheaval of tragedy and discord of the last couple of months it’s easy to become distracted and focused on the sadness, anger, and pain in the world, and possibly our own lives; and to quickly discard of the old year for the new.
I’ve taken the last few days to “Unplug” from the world of telephone and internet to just “be”. I think sometimes we just need to do that to reconnect with ourselves and The One whom we believe to be the true source of our lives.
I’m a goal and action-oriented person (when ”D” elements—depression and disconnectedness– aren’t wreaking havoc with my emotions). I enjoy and am energized by setting goals, planning, and taking account of where I am in light of where I’ve been and where I desire to be.
Many of my goals and expectations weren’t met this year. However, when I think about it, in many ways, in lieu of some of my stated goals many of the events of 2012 exceeded my own expectations. I can’t help but think of the scripture which says “Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, and above what you can think or imagine”. I use to say that God would have to be doing an awful lot because I have a pretty big imagination”.
My mentor and friend Michael Pritchard says “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”. Well I must say, God “do be” doing a lot; and I think He really did laugh over my life in 2012.
A year ago today, little did I know that in less than 90 days I would be spending my birthday in the rainforest of Sao Paulo, Brazil as part of an International Symposium on reducing trauma to children, before, during, and after birth; and a few days later visiting an orphanage where I’d meet and fall in love with a precious little boy who shared my birthday.
Neither did I know that on Mothers’ Day, one of the most depressing holidays of the year for me, that I would be served breakfast, along with flowers and card, and spend the day with my youngest son who has spent most of the Mothers’ Days of his adulthood incarcerated, and most times my having no idea where.
Thinking about ending my bi-weekly internet radio program in October, I had no idea that the more than 3,000 listeners to my September program would be beyond any of the programs of the previous two years.
Nowhere in my conscious dreams did I see myself appearing in a “2013 Calendar of Alopecian Beauties” after watching a Sistah on PBS* who literally “flipped her wig” and released me to finally triumph in my challenge with Alopecia and “bare it all” myself, with the support of a network of sisters online who shared the challenge as well.
*God bless you Ms. Sonya Renee Taylor.
Then in November, National Adoption Month, I found myself sitting on the set of a San Francisco affiliate of a major network, baring my heart (and feeling no shame, my head) about the joys and pains of being a mentor and foster and adoptive parent to many youth who had/have been written off.
Just imagine…none of these were even a part of my goal plans for 2012!!! Well let me reframe that: My “objectives” may have been slightly different, but overall I believe my primary goal –to fulfill my life purpose—actually was met.
Looking at this overview of my year, one might think “Wow, what a wonderful year!” Yes, it has been; but it has also included heartache and tears, loss, grief, feelings of disappointment, rejection, aloneness, loneliness, fear, financial gaps and sinkholes, and sometimes even doubt. However, even in these times, I believe the purpose of my life was/is being even more clearly fine tuned, and my goal being met.
You might wonder if I will even bother to set goals for the New Year? and if so, why??? The answer is a resounding “YES”! Because, if for no other reason, I want to make God laugh –some more! Because when He laughs I eventually laugh too!
Looking forward to laughing with you and God in the New Year!